| Firecrab
Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: melbourne
Posts: 887
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Chapter Seventeen
Ginny woke up and rubbed sore red eyes, she looked out the window and spotted the blue tent amongst the trees. He was there, he said he would camp out in the forest in desperation to be close to her before and now she’d forced him to do it. She sat in the corner in her chair curled up in her quilt. There was a knock and it was Molly.
“Sweetheart, how are you feeling this morning?”
“It’s still there, it’s still inside me, growing and living”
“It’s your baby Ginny, not a monster”
“Is nine months long enough to change my mind?”
“Once you see him or her for the first time you’ll be in love, nothing can stop that from happening, not even you”
“I don’t know”
“Are you going to see him today, he’s downstairs”
“You let him in the house?!”
“He’s having breakfast; he’s scared you’ve left him and aren’t coming back Ginny” She sighed, “It’s been days”
Ginny looked out the window “Tell him I’ll be back”
“You tell him Ginny”
“I can’t talk to him”
“Ginny”
“I CAN’T DO IT”
“Then I’m going to tell him everything, I’m not going to leave that boy as a tortured soul anymore, he’s been through enough as it without your selfish behaviour”
Ginny stayed quiet staring at her,
“You won’t tell him the truth, I will, he just wants to know what’s going on, he’s worried sick, he thinks you don’t love him, that you don’t want him anymore not that your going to give him a child and you just won’t tell him”
“I’ll tell him – send him up”
“Your ready, you don’t want to get dressed?”
“Send him up; when he leaves you let him alone”
“He won’t”
“When he leaves you will leave him alone” she said firmly,
“Fine, he’ll be right up”
She stood up and walked out closing the door, she wandered slowly down contemplating what was going to happen.
He looked up at Molly hopefully “She’s waiting”
He leapt to his feet and tried not to sprint to eagerly up the stairs, he stood at the door pausing before knocking,
“Come in Harry”
He opened the door to her sitting in the chair in the corner, the quilt wrapped up showing only red hair and red eyes.
“Gin” he started walking straight for her, he reached for her cheek, kneeling down in front of her “Tell me what I’ve done wrong please, I want to make it right, I want to make you happy again, I’m so sorry for pushing you into all this”
“Don’t”
“You want to move back in here just say it, you don’t want to marry me, keep the ring until you do-”
“Harry it’s not like that, I want to live with you, I want to marry you, it depends if you still want me after what I’m going to tell you”
“Of course I will, nothing will ever change the way I feel about you”
“That’s what I’m worried about, you don’t have anything to be sorry for, it was me that got us into this mess, I shouldn’t have made you say goodbye, I shouldn’t have been such a reckless mess you had to come back and sleep with me because I made you”
“What are you saying Ginny?”
“I’m – I’m – I don’t want to – please don’t leave me, please” she said starting to cry “It’s all happening so fast, I’m so scared and I don’t think I could take it if you – you decided you didn’t love me anymore”
“Never in a million years could I leave you, I love you so much I had to sleep in the woods to be close to you so I didn’t fall apart silly, just tell me what’s happening”
Her hands released her from the quilt and she knelt down on the floor with him. Her hand went to his cheek and she leant, taking one of his hands simultaneously, holding it to her lower belly as she whispered in his ear.
“I’m pregnant”
“You – your – say it again”
“I’m pregnant”
He pulled her into his arms, “Why would you be scared I would go, Ginny this is – its good”
“How is it?”
“We’re having a baby, our child, and you’re not happy?”
“I don’t think I can do this, I don’t know if – if I want to be a mother yet”
“I know you didn’t chose this, it’s not something I would have either so soon but this is something to be-”
She stared “-To be what happy!” Ginny said angrily,
“You don’t want it at all do you?” he said and let go standing up, she stayed kneeling and held onto the bottom of his t-shirt,
“I want kids, I want your kids, I’m just scared, please don’t go”
“I’m not going anywhere” he replied lifting her to face him “I love you, I’m going to get us through this, I’m scared too but I know we can do this”
“I’m not so far gone, you’ve probably figured”
“It doesn’t seem possible already maybe that’s why I’m so calm” he said enveloping her in his arms,
“Magic can read a persons body better then your muggle tests, I knew myself, I know my body and I felt what was happening”
“But you weren’t trying to hurt yourself on purpose, you said that”
“The arm that was an accident but the stairs…”
“You would throw yourself downstairs to end your baby’s life!”
“I wasn’t thinking straight, please forgive me, I can do this, I can love this baby if you help me”
“Ginny you need help” he stepped back in shock,
“I need you, just you”
“I need to think about what you’ve told me, will you be ok if I go for a walk?”
“You said you wouldn’t go” her hands reached for his chest, clutching at his t-shirt collar,
His hands held hers there “I’ll be back, I won’t be gone long I promise, I just need a chance to clear my head, to process – Gin, I love you but knowing – I need to get my head round it”
“Don’t go, please”
“Gin, just minutes, I’ll get Hermione to come and sit with you”
“I- I”
“I won’t be long, I promise” he kissed her lips, her cheeks, her forehead and held her “I’m coming back and then we’ll go home”
He let go and walked down stairs in tears, “Hermione sit with her – I have to – I’m – I’m – Molly she needs help” he broke down rushing out the door, she followed after him,
“Harry – Harry I know it’s a shock but-”
“She tried to kill it” he hissed “She doesn’t want it that much she threw herself down stairs and tried to hide it from me, I’m going to think, I’ll be back”
He walked into the woods aimlessly and stoped in a clearing to pace back and forth, he came to a standstill and looked up at the house, she was watching him at the window, he turned to face away from her, looking at her wasn’t possible right now. He started to pace again and then stomped back into the house. Molly tried to talk to him again
“Harry, Harry she needs you don’t go”
“This is my baby to, I’m gonna take care of them both, we’re going to be fine” he walked up the stairs, and opened her door, Hermione looked at him, hugged him and then stepped back, “She’s asked me to stay here whilst you talk”
“Go please”
“I want her to stay”
“I want to tell you something that I don’t want her to hear, Hermione understands”
“If she wants me here -”
“- She wants you, she doesn’t need you, and she wants you as a buffer”
“What are you going to tell her?”
“The truth” he held the door open for her “Please Hermione”
“I’ll be outside the door Ginny”
“Thankyou” she mumbled, Harry cast muffilato as soon as the door closed and sat on the bed opposite her, “You look angry at me, I didn’t want to face you alone”
“I’m not angry, I’m scared of you”
“Me”
“You tried to kill our child how can I trust you again?”
“I love you, you can trust me, I’m not going to do it again, and I’m fine I can do this”
“No you can’t, not when you hate your own baby”
“Mum says once I start to feel it, to see him or her on a scan I’ll love it”
“And if not, then what do we do?”
“I’ll keep trying, for you I’ll keep trying”
“I don’t want you to do this for me; I want you to do it for you!”
“I don’t have a choice, you can walk away from this, I have this for nine months and then how ever long after that”
“What about – what about adoption?”
“I couldn’t do that to you, you’d never forgive me and I couldn’t forgive myself, this is – this is our baby so we – we’ll raise it”
“How much do you think I love you right now?”
“Not very, you hate me more then you love me, I did something stupid”
“You’re wrong”
“What?”
“Your wrong” he got up and sat on the arm of the chair holding her “Your giving me a child, I love you more if its possible that I can, I can forgive you anything because you are scared of me going, your worried that I’m the one that will leave when all of those three days it was me that was scared I was losing you” he kissed the top of her head “Your logic is all messed up Gin, even if you told me you couldn’t have children I’d still want you, you’re my everything”
“You would resent me, just like you will for forcing you to be a father”
He shook his head “Your not forcing me, I think I can be ready for this, to have my own family – Gin I’ve been alone almost all my life, yeah Ron’s like a brother and Hermione’s the closest I’d get to a sister but there’s nothing like having your own family, my parents knew that, your parents know that – they had seven just to prove it to everyone that family is the most important thing in anyone persons life. I’m going to be a father and a husband, your going to be a wife and mother, we’re going to have each other and your family and any one willing to lend a hand, we can do this we just have to try”
“Are you sure Harry?”
“I’m sure about you, I don’t need anything else”
“Stupid boy”
“I’m in love I can’t help it”
“Why can’t you just get angry at me?”
“It doesn’t work like that with me and you; we don’t argue I just give in”
She laughed a little and held onto him tighter, “I love you, so much, I’m so sorry Harry, believe me I’m so sorry”
“Love you too Ginny, I’m gonna love you forever” he lifted her into his arms so she was on his lap in the chair and they hugged, her curling into his embrace and holding for minutes in silence.
“Can we stay here for a few days?” Ginny asked,
“What ever you need”
“It’s a family decision”
“I’m gonna stay here with you if it’s what you want”
“Yes please”
“Alright then, I’ll get us some clothes later on”
“Thankyou Harry”
He looked down at her confused “For what?”
“For understanding, for forgiving, for loving”
He held her cheek and kissed her lips lovingly, “Thankyou” he held her to him firmly in silence, “Thankyou so much Ginny”
She took his hand placing it where the bump would soon be and looked at him; he smiled in understanding and held her hand on top of his “For our family”
That sat like this for a while, not hearing the door open when Hermione’s head peeked round and then when it closed again and her footsteps moved down the stairs.
“There ok” she said “There just sitting there holding each other”
“Both of you know don’t you?” Molly asked looked between both Ron and Hermione,
“Know what?” Ron tried to lie,
“I am not easy to fool Ronald, you know and we did not tell you and neither did she”
“I heard you last night, I heard her say she doesn’t want it and I went to see Hermione”
“You’d better not say a word to her”
“I’m not stupid” he muttered “I’m worried for her, for them both”
“They’re going to be fine; he’s going to get her through this”
“Sure he is” Ron muttered “He got her into this”
“Blaming him is not going to change it”
“It takes two” Hermione said before Ron could complain “She told me that she instigated it Ron, can you imagine what she would have done if he hadn’t survived?”
“She would love that baby; she would replace Harry with it”
“No she wouldn’t because something like this just doesn’t go away, it wouldn’t have changed, and she would have been even less ready”
“You don’t know that” Harry said standing at the bottom of the stairs, “Don’t talk about what you don’t understand, don’t talk about us talk to us” he said angrily,
“Things like this don’t change suddenly; she would have still had it”
“You don’t know that, she’s going to be fine” he said “She has me, they have me, we’re going to be a family, and we’re going to be happy”
“I’m not saying you won’t be its just-”
“- she’s asleep, Molly is it ok if we stay here for a few days”
“Of course, you don’t have to ask”
“Yeah we do – I’m going to get some clothes for us, sort out something’s and be back later, make sure she knows I’ll be back if she wakes up, she’s worried I won’t” he said rubbing his head and drawing his wand as he went out the front door.
He apparated to Grimmald place packed two bags but left them on the living room floor. He went to Godric’s Hollow, to her house and knocked. He guessed it was her mum but she looked at him like she knew him,
“Erm hello, is Sophia home”
“James” she said surprised,
“How do you know my father?”
“You look just like him” she didn’t know what else to say,
“You knew my dad?”
“Yes, it’s like I’m seeing him again you’re the spitting image apart from your eyes – your eyes are”
“They’re my mothers”
“I know, but I didn’t think – you didn’t survive, you all died”
“I was taken in by my Aunt and Uncle”
“The house, it collapsed on you all, I knew James since, since we were kids – you played with Sophia in the garden when you were little, your dad was my friend and Sirius, I remember Sirius” she looked at the ground, “Come in”
“I don’t know”
“Harry tell me what happened to my friends and I’ll tell Sophia you’re here”
“Will you tell her who I am?”
“Yes” she stepped out of the way to let him in, “But I think she already knows something”
“She doesn’t remember me, I don’t remember her”
“You were only babies” she led him into the living room and sat down “What happened to James and Lily?”
“They were killed in the house, I was rescued, and I don’t know how I just was” he lied “As for Sirius, I’m sorry to say he was killed”
She stared at him “You’re sure”
“I was there, it’s been two years”
“Oh my god” she spluttered and then started to cry into her hands,
“I’m so sorry”
“You don’t understand” she sobbed “He’s – He’s Sophia’s father”
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RIP JD Salinger |