Chapter 35

The next couple of weeks for Raven were confusing and lonely. She spent most of her spare time in her dormitory reflecting on her conversation with Dumbledore. Taking a cue from her mother, she decided to start a journal, in an attempt to collect her thoughts and try to rationalize things that have happened or could happen. She thought to herself at one point, she needed to start making a plan. If Voldemort returns, learns about her and tries to force her into joining him, she needed to come up with a way to get out of it without being killed.

Then there was Draco. Since that night in Dumbledore's office, she became distant from him. When she would get close to him, she found herself pulling back and finding a reason to get away. She didn't want to mention to him her reasons for her sudden change of behavior. Despite her feelings for him, she always hated his father, especially now that he intends to use her to make Voldemort happy. Raven knew that if she said anything to Draco, not only would he not believe her, but it would end up being an argument she didn't want to have. There was enough on her mind now that she didn't want to have a fight with Draco to contend with.

One Saturday afternoon, Raven was sitting by the window in her dormitory gazing at the Hogwarts scenery, still trying to piece her life together. Spring was in full bloom and most of the students were outside enjoying the clean air and new warmth.

All of those people down there; with no worries in the world, enjoying life, taking every breath with hope and high expectations for their futures. For once in my life, I wish I were them.

Raven began writing in her journal again, when she heard the door to the dormitory open. It was Hermione, who went straight to her trunk and started rummaging around. Hermione closed her trunk and looked over at Raven. Raven closed her journal and stared at the window, hoping that Hermione wouldn't come over to start up a conversation.

"Raven?" asked Hermione. Raven was disappointed that her peace was interrupted but wasn't angry because other girls share a room with her; they were bound to be in and out.

"Yeah." Raven never looked away from the window.

"Do you have more ink? Ron ran out and Harry and I only have enough to make it to the end of the year."

"Sure, in my trunk."

Hermione went to Raven's trunk and began searching. "What's this?"

"What's what?"

"I remember now. This is the flower that George gave you last year."

"What are you talking about?"

Hermione walked over to Raven carrying a cylindrical, glass tube with a beautiful flower inside. It looked like a lily, only a light purple and with a slight glow. Raven took to tube from Hermione and looked it over as if trying so hard to remember how she got this.

"Last year, George gave you this. It's called the Amatorius Lillium. When a person gives it to the one they love, and if that person feels the same way, the flower opens up and won't die until the love they have for each other dies."

"But this flower isn't dead? How can that be? I love Draco?"

"Isn't it obvious? You and George still love each other."

"No I don't! When are you going to understand that I love Draco?"

"According to that flower, you don't! Do you see now what I've been trying to tell you? This potion is making you think that you love Draco. Raven, this potion is blinding you to reality. That reality is that you are in love with George."

Raven stared at the flower. She would have remembered getting something like this. At the same time, this seemed like the icing on the cake. With everything on her mind right now, then this comes up. She looked over at Hermione and wanted to hit her for bringing the subject up.

"Remind me to never to let anyone in my trunk again."

"Raven, I'm only trying to help."

"You're always trying to help, Hermione! That's the problem. My uncle was right when he said last year that you were an 'insufferable know-it-all.' You, Ron and Harry are always jumping in to save the day. Some things don't need saving or helping or whatever it is that you are trying to do!"

Hermione stared at her in shock and tears started to well up in her eyes. However, Raven felt no guilt. She was angry with Hermione for butting into business that wasn't her own, whether she thought she was doing the friendly thing or not.

"Just leave me alone. You don't know the half of what I'm going through right now, so let me deal with it the only way I know how. If I need your help, I'll ask for it. In the meantime, get a life or help Harry with the upcoming task. I know your just itching to lend a hand with that one. After all, that's what your good at right? Helping people with problems that you have no control over? At least you know that with Harry, you'll always have something to do in your spare time. With him being a problem magnet, I'm sure you have loads of things to do!"

Raven got up and the tube holding the flower dropped on the floor and shattered. She threw her journal on her bed and stormed out of the dormitory. When she got down the stairs, she noticed Ron and Harry at a table doing their homework.

"Hey Raven! Is Hermione up there?"

Raven only nodded and walked out of the common room. She didn't know exactly where she wanted to go. All she knew was that she wanted out of the castle. When she got down to the main entrance, she noticed Draco at the bottom of the stairs. Still furious with her conversation with Hermione, she certainly didn't want to talk to him.

"Raven! Where are you off to?" he asked as he ran up behind her.

"Not now, Draco. I'm not in the mood."

"We're all going outside to hang out, wanna come?"

"I said, not now! I'm not in the mood." Raven swiftly turned around to face Draco. "I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want anyone to talk to me and I don't want to be here. In other words, leave me alone!"

Draco stopped and was taken back by her anger. Raven turned around and walked out of the castle doors. When she got outside, she saw Snape talking with Karkaroff in the courtyard. They seemed to be having intense conversations lately. Raven didn't want to stick around to say hello. She thought she could slip by her uncle unnoticed.

"Raven!" shouted Snape.

Too late. Raven tried to keep going but Snape caught up to her. "Look, like I told everyone else that has talked to me today, leave me alone."

"What happened?"

"Do I have a sign on me that says, ‘talk to me even though I say not to?’“

"Quit snapping at me and tell me what happened. What did Draco do?"

"Draco? Why did you automatically assume that Draco did something? What is everyone's problem?" Raven tried to walk away but Snape grabbed some of her robes and turned her around. "WHAT!"

"Are you going to tell me or do I have to keep persisting?"

Raven rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. "Fine! Hermione tried to tell me that I once had feelings for George Weasley. She started telling me about that potion again. What's the deal with this potion anyway? Wouldn't I remember taking a potion?"

"No. Well, not this particular potion. It erased some of your memories. You told me after you took it. Lucius slipped it to you and Draco during your last trip to Hogsmeade. After you took that potion, you seemed to forget the memories of you and Mr. Weasley and that day at Hogsmeade."

Raven took a few steps back and realized that what he said was right. She wondered for a while why she couldn't remember hardly anything before a couple of months ago. Now that she had some sort of answer, rage built inside of her more. "I-I have to go."

"Where are you going?"

"Don't know. Somewhere I can think. One question though. If you knew about this potion, why haven't you done anything to find the antidote? You being a potions master, with access to an enormous library, you should have found it. Or do you relish in the fact that I am marrying Draco?"

"I only want what's best for you and I know that you marrying him will cause problems, especially if He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is to return. We already discussed that the night in the Headmaster's office. As far as the potion, I haven't found it yet. What you have taken describes nearly every love potion in the books. It's hard to narrow it down."

"Right." Raven nodded her head slowly and looked in every direction but at her uncle, thinking on what he just said. "Excuse me while I snap."

She walked out of the courtyard and towards the lake. With her hands clenched into a fist and her teeth grinding together, she stopped and looked at the castle. She didn't want to go back. Raven cursed the day she stepped foot into that castle. In her mind, she never wanted to see anyone again, but her heart was telling her otherwise.

Her mind was full of thoughts that seemed to fight each other. I love Draco, but I'm under a potion. I'm under the influence of a potion that makes me love Draco but I don't care. Or do I? Marrying Draco is a dream but it means an encounter with Voldemort. George loves me but how did it even begin? How could I forget loving someone?

Raven's mind was racing. Soon her feet were racing to try to catch up with her thoughts. She ran towards the lake not paying attention to where she was going. All she could see were the conversations she‘s had the past couple weeks. The only things running through her mind were the words of Dumbledore telling her about her grandmother and Lucius' dark plan. Then the words of Snape, George and Hermione, telling her she didn't love Draco, that it was George she loved. As she ran, the voices only got louder.

She eventually stopped and fell to her knees. "STOP IT! STOP TALKING TO ME!" Raven let out a horrible scream, to try to get all of her anger and fear. "I LOVE HIM! DO YOU HEAR ME? I LOVE HIM!"

Two hands pulled her up startled her out of her rant.

"What are you doing? Let me go!" she said trying to kick herself out of the arms of this person.

"You were in the water. I'm pulling you out," said the mysterious person.

"Do you think I care that I'm in the water?" she said pulling off her robes and throwing them to the ground. It was George, who could only stare at her. "Why are you here? Or do you love showing up at the most inopportune times?"

"I spoke to Hermione. I figured you would be here. She told me you two exchanged words."

"Yeah, I let her have it for being nosey. I told her to find something else to do.” Raven walked toward a rock and sat down.

"You know that she was only trying to help you because she cares about you. After all, she is a friend."

"Well, sometimes friends need to realize that if they can't fix something, they need to let it go."

"We are all worried about you."

"Why? Because I love Draco and I should love you?"

"I know you still love me."

"How?"

"Because of this." George took off his robes and before wrapping them around Raven, he reached into one of the pockets and pulled out the glass tube containing the flower. "Hermione fixed it for you. She said you may want it back one day."

Raven took the flower from him and stared at it, still trying to form some answers. Her frustrations built up again. She bent over and put her head in her lap, then put her arms over her head. "Why is this happening to me?"

"Don't know. However, we can figure it all out, together. Only if you want.” George put his hand on her back.

Raven felt a surge of warmth all over her body. This feeling made her feel calm and relaxed. "Tell me about us, our relationship."

George looked down then looked back up at Raven and gave her a small smile. "Are you sure? You're not going to call me a liar or anything, are you?"

"No. I know I'm under a potion. And until I get out of it, I know that I will have feelings for Draco. This potion has taken away memories from my life. I want them back. Even if I don't remember them all, I still want to know what they are."

George began telling Raven how they met, their first date, their first kiss. He told her about the time that she came to the Burrow and they watched the sunset together and how Snape was there, attempting to give his approval to their relationship."

"Snape gave approval for us? He hasn't even accepted Draco and that’s his teacher's pet."

"Yeah, eventually he did. Took him a long time." George continued with their story. He told her about the train ride at the beginning of the year when all of this began. Then he explained to her the ring and its effect on her throughout the year. "Our last time together was during the Yule Ball. I told you I would never forget what you looked like that night, and I haven't."

"Why was it the last time we spent together?"

"We both thought it was for the best. The ring was taking hold of you in ways that were making you ill and depleting your abilities. I feel responsible for this current mess."

Raven stared at him for a brief moment. She saw in him the love that he had for her. "Why? From what I understand, I was slipped a potion."

“But I wonder if we hadn’t stopped seeing each other, you would have been with me. You would have never taken that potion.” George seemed remorseful. He genuinely believed he was responsible for Raven taking a potion.

“I don’t blame you at all. I don’t think it would have mattered at all.” Raven put her hand on George’s shoulder. He raised his head and looked at her with sad eyes. “You really care about me, don’t you?”

"More than you know." George took hold of Raven's hand. Without any hesitation, Raven rested her head on George's shoulder.

"Did we ever talk about running away? Because I would love to right now."

"We talked about it. But we knew it wouldn’t solve anything.”

The thoughts surrounding Raven never left her, but they were much calmer now. She closed her eyes hoping to shut down her mind but as she did, a vision came to her. Draco was walking toward the lake and saw her and George. Filled with rage, he pulled out his wand and fired a spell at George, pushing him forward and landing head first on a rock.

Raven immediately opened her eyes and turned around. Draco was standing there about to cast the spell. Raven shouted, "Expelliarmus!" Draco's wand shot out of his hand. "What are you doing Draco?

"What is he doing here?"

"Being a friend! I needed someone to talk to and he showed up!"

"If you need a friend to talk to, that's what I'm here for."

"Why are you so jealous? We were only talking!"

"Jealous? Of Weasley? I know I have nothing to worry about."

"Then why are you so angry right now, if it's not out of jealousy?" Raven turned to George to hand him back his robes. While she did so, she slipped him the flower. "Hang on to this for me, okay?" she whispered.

"What are you talking about over there?" Draco asked.

"I was thanking him for pulling me out of the lake!" she snapped.

"How did you get in there?"

"What, Draco? Is this twenty questions?" Raven turned and rolled her eyes to George who gave a faint smile. "If you must know, I wasn't paying attention and tripped into the lake. Fortunately George was nearby to pull me out."

"Is he following you?"

"Are you following me?"

Draco fell silent and gave a nasty look in George's direction. Raven knew that if she was not going to let Draco get the hint that she knew something that he didn't, she had a lot of making up to do at this point. She slowly walked up to him and grabbed his hand.

"Nothing was going on. I promise. We only talked," Raven said. She then put one hand on the side of his face. "I would never betray you. I love you, Draco."

"I just received some distressing news from father," Draco said quietly. "We need to talk."

"Sure, let's go." Raven turned back to George and gave him a faint smile. George looked as though he won a small battle in a big war, but only looked partially happy about it.

Draco swiftly turned around and outstretched his wand towards George. "Stay away from her, Weasley! She has me, she doesn't need you!"

"Why don't you let her judge that for herself," said George. "She is a big girl, after all. I believe she can make those kinds of decisions without your authority."

Raven sensed that Draco was getting ready to cast a spell. She gently put her hand on his arm and stood in front of Draco to get George out of his view. "Let's just go, Draco. We'll talk."

Draco dropped his wand to his side, took Raven's hand and walked towards the castle.

When they got to the courtyard, she noticed that the people out there were staring at her because of her soaked appearance. She pulled out her wand and with a complicated motion, a jet of air was released and dried her off completely. The two sat on a bench and Raven realized that whatever Draco wanted to talk to her about was not going to be good.

"What did you want to discuss?" Raven said, grabbing Draco's hands.

"Father sent me an owl. He says that something isn't right on your side of our relationship and wants me to keep a closer eye on you."

"What? What does he mean?"

"He thinks people are trying to manipulate you by telling you lies about us. He thinks those ideas are starting to affect the way you feel about me."

"Where on earth would he get an idea like that?" Raven felt herself get nervous. She was fighting the urge to spill everything she was told the past couple of weeks. It was everything she could do to stay calm.

Draco picked up her hand with the ring on it and stared at it for a moment. "He knows...through this."

"How can he know anything through a ring?" Raven was quickly reminded of her conversations with Dumbledore and George when he mentioned the ring and how she got it.

"I don't know exactly. But he knows that there is strong sense of doubt and that you’ve had it the last couple of weeks."

Raven stared down at the ring and the looked back up at Draco. She started to feel a strange warmth on her hand. The longer he touched it, the more the warmth spread throughout her body. She started to feel light-headed but retained her composure.

"So what you are trying to tell me is that your father has been spying on me through a ring." Raven looked around and noticed Snape standing at the other end of the courtyard. "Why? How? Oh my gosh! This day can't get any worse."

"Raven, I don't know what's going on. But father feels that you need to be watched more closely."

"WHY? HE SEEMS TO BE DOING ALL THE WATCHING FOR YOU!" Everyone in the courtyard turned to look at Raven. She bent over and got real close to Draco's face. "If I ever catch you spying on me, I will break you then go after your father. I am not anyone's little puppy dog that needs to be watched. Do me a favor, and just steer clear of me for a while."

Raven stood straight and took a couple of steps away when Draco's voice stopped her. "Can't do that. I know that through that ring we are bound to a marriage contract. We are to be married whether you like it or not. So steering clear won't be an option."

"Can you honestly tell me that you‘re happy with this contract?"

"It says I‘ll marry you. Why wouldn‘t I be happy?"

Raven got up close to Draco and stared in his eyes. “Way to lie to me, Draco.”

"I‘m not lying. I love you, Raven. This contract, our relationship is a good thing."

“Then you can’t see the doubt that is all over you. You don’t want this.“ Raven tried desperately to get the ring off her finger but it didn't move. She felt the anger she had earlier in the day return ten-fold. "Your daddy is paranoid, that‘s why he sent you that letter. He knows that I know. Give your father a message for me, be scared. As for you, heed my advice; stay away from me!"

She walked away feeling more sure of herself than she has in weeks. But the warmth she felt from Draco touching the ring turned into pain. She began to hear a voice in her head.

I don‘t care if you know. You will marry him. You won’t win.

"You picked the wrong girl!" she said to the voice.

As she walked she stormed by Snape who grabbed her by the arm. "My office, now!"

Raven jerked her arm away and began walking with him to his office. Something about all of this seemed so familiar. The same voice in her head was getting stronger and louder; repeating the same thing repeatedly. The pain in her body was increasing with every step.

She got to her uncle's office and stood in the doorway while Snape walked over towards his desk. She took two steps and collapsed onto the floor.