This is about a run through of Harry Potter's life...except...

Albus Dumbledore has an invisible imaginary friend who has a Siamese twin.
Seamus is posh.
And Neville appears only all the time
Go away.
Stupid Neville. He's an attention seeker but I'll make him worse.
The power! sigh.
But this is writing off the top of my head so, if it's not funny, it's random.


Harry was smoking his first cigarette, and he spluttered realising he couldn't be late for: How to really irritate Dumbledore's imaginary friend's Siamese twin.
"Whadda heck? I gives yuh thiz and yuh give me nuffin. You're a dizzgrace."
One of his friends, Ron, had come off with a new disguise to avoid lessons. A gangzta.


And after the large D'oh! a woman in Bombay stepped on a snail.
And Ron's beret didn't move, so the author flicked it off.
So the readers went "Ahahaha" at the same time, making Harry zoom to HTRIDIFST
And also the teachers place for HTRIDIFST had an everlasting curse that, whenever the sat down, they'd be sitting on a hippo.