I know that he had a right to be mad. I’d just told him that, yes, I liked him, and then rejected him to his face. What was wrong with me? Why didn’t I want to kiss him?

These thoughts kept interrupting my nap I was trying to have. Finally, when I heard “dinner’s ready,” being called up the stairs, I woke up, but I didn’t move.

It was funny; for a split second I thought I was back at my house and that was my father calling towards me. When I realized that I was wrong, I rolled over to face the other way.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and then my door opened, and I ignored the whispers of, “Lily, Lily, come on, wake up,” until James sat on my bed.

I felt myself crying again and I tried to hide it.

“What’s wrong?”

I ignored him.

“Come on,” he said softly. “I know you’re not asleep. Stop crying and look at me. Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

I rolled to face him. I could see his out line and the moon shone across his face.

“You… you hate me now.”

He smiled. “I could never hate you… It just… it hurt, you know? I finally, finally, thought that I had a chance with you, after seven years of waiting. But if that’s not what you want, then that’s okay. I don’t want to loose you as a friend, since we’ve never really been that, either.”

I cried a little harder and he brushed the hair out of my eyes. “Shh, I don’t hate you, I promise. I understand that this isn’t want you want.”

“But… but James,” I said, sitting up a little. “This is what I want.”

I leaned forward, and not at all sure of what I was doing, kissed him. I could tell that he was shocked at first, but then he kissed back. I was going crazy; it felt like I was spinning above the clouds and the wind was rushing all around.

Remus howled in the background.