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Govoni · 06-08-2015, 07:35 PM

presents

Potions, Lost Love, and Creature Woes
Your Weekly Advice Column!
by W. Hughbert_and_Ruby Banner

In times of trouble and distress, the public often looked to their king and queen. The royal pair offered their subjects advice, peace of mind and sometimes entertainment in the day-to-day monotony of life. And so (keeping the age old tradition alive), another royal pair has risen from the ashes to help fulfill the same roles. The Philosopher King and the Scarlet Queen are here to help the students of Hogwarts by dishing out advice in all manner of things. Sure they may not be the advice team that Hogwarts NEEDS, but they are the ones that Hogwarts got.

Quote:

A boy broke my heart, and I'm not sure how to get over it. It's been a few months, and I know he doesn't care. What should I do? Don't tell me to move on--trust me, I have.

unlucky in love

You said not to tell you to move on...but, like, yo, isn't that what you are supposed to do? Personally, I think you should take a moment and consider a few things. Firstly, why do you think this all matters SO MUCH that you've wasted months on this? Secondly, come to the conclusion that a tiny romance in the grand scheme of the world means nothing. It's a lie. The most beautiful lie we have (save our own existence) is that love actually matters. It doesn't.

So...get over it?

You're Welcome.

Philosopher King

You're obvy lying, hun.

If you were over it, you wouldn't be writing to us to ask how to get over it. There is a solution, though! Stop worrying about that dumb boy and find a better one; they're everywhere. Also next time, don't give any boy the power to break you. Nobody should have that sort of power over you! Work on building yourself up instead, and if you aren't sure if you can, then fake it until you make it.

xoxo
The Scarlet Queen

Quote:

My girlfriend wants me to potion a boy in my house so he'll fall for her best friend. What should I do?

Potion Dilemma

Girlfriend as in a friend who is a girl or girlfriend as in you are involved in a romantic relationship with her? BECAUSE THAT CHANGES ALL THE THINGS, YO. Definition is such an important thing that people just have a tendency to ignore when they ask questions. Words are powerful but only as powerful as the intention behind them.

So...can't answer your question until you answer mine. I hope that helped.

You're welcome.

Philosopher King

Oh my Merlin, that is SO tragic. First of all, I would totally need more information here, but the short answer is DON'T. Does her bestie even know that this is a thing? Because if she doesn't, your girlfriend is totes not doing her any favours. I mean, who wants to have someone fake-like you? If anything, and if the bestie does like that boy and you do feel inclined to help, why not do it the old fashioned way and just have a casual chat to him; put it casually out there and see if he might like her back? Or like, get a better girlfriend for yourSELF, that would work too.

xoxo
The Scarlet Queen

Quote:

My friend snuck his pet knarl into school. I think he's so cute and I don't want him to get in trouble, but we're not allowed to keep knarls.

Knarl Snarl

As Einstein (Albert if you are not sure to which Einstein I am referring) once said "we cannot solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them". You're worrying about the wrong problem here, see. The bigger problem is that you, anonymous or not, just told us that a friend of yours has an unsanctioned knarl at school...in a professor reviewed paper. Which means that now the faculty are going to know and be on the lookout for said knarl. The real problem you should have been considering was approaching this from another angle to secure the answer to your question.

This was not so smart.

You're welcome.

Philosopher King

Okay, but like, it isn't really your problem, right? Soooo, why not just enjoy the knarl's cuteness and say nothing? When your friend gets caught, if they are really your friend then they won't drag you down with them; just like how if you are really THEIR friend you won't tattle in the first place. Just be sure to dress appropriately when handling the little cutie because knarl quills can catch on fabric and ruin a perfectly good outfit.

xoxo
The Scarlet Queen

Are you (like these unfortunate souls) down and out and looking for a little advice from our resident experts? Submit to us today and have your questions answered in next week's issue! Just remember that nothing is taboo in the name of philosophy and love!

06-08-2015, 07:35 PM	#25 (permalink)
Govoni MO & DMLE Blast-Ended Skrewt Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Dragonstone Posts: 15,583 Hogwarts RPG Name: Lyric Bayliss-Black Slytherin Fourth Year x12 x12	Zombie Apocalypse Team Leader ★ ★ in a crown of pepperoni and artisan cheese presents Potions, Lost Love, and Creature Woes Your Weekly Advice Column! by W. Hughbert_and_Ruby Banner In times of trouble and distress, the public often looked to their king and queen. The royal pair offered their subjects advice, peace of mind and sometimes entertainment in the day-to-day monotony of life. And so (keeping the age old tradition alive), another royal pair has risen from the ashes to help fulfill the same roles. The Philosopher King and the Scarlet Queen are here to help the students of Hogwarts by dishing out advice in all manner of things. Sure they may not be the advice team that Hogwarts NEEDS, but they are the ones that Hogwarts got. Quote: A boy broke my heart, and I'm not sure how to get over it. It's been a few months, and I know he doesn't care. What should I do? Don't tell me to move on--trust me, I have. unlucky in love You said not to tell you to move on...but, like, yo, isn't that what you are supposed to do? Personally, I think you should take a moment and consider a few things. Firstly, why do you think this all matters SO MUCH that you've wasted months on this? Secondly, come to the conclusion that a tiny romance in the grand scheme of the world means nothing. It's a lie. The most beautiful lie we have (save our own existence) is that love actually matters. It doesn't. So...get over it? You're Welcome. Philosopher King You're obvy lying, hun. If you were over it, you wouldn't be writing to us to ask how to get over it. There is a solution, though! Stop worrying about that dumb boy and find a better one; they're everywhere. Also next time, don't give any boy the power to break you. Nobody should have that sort of power over you! Work on building yourself up instead, and if you aren't sure if you can, then fake it until you make it. xoxo The Scarlet Queen Quote: My girlfriend wants me to potion a boy in my house so he'll fall for her best friend. What should I do? Potion Dilemma Girlfriend as in a friend who is a girl or girlfriend as in you are involved in a romantic relationship with her? BECAUSE THAT CHANGES ALL THE THINGS, YO. Definition is such an important thing that people just have a tendency to ignore when they ask questions. Words are powerful but only as powerful as the intention behind them. So...can't answer your question until you answer mine. I hope that helped. You're welcome. Philosopher King Oh my Merlin, that is SO tragic. First of all, I would totally need more information here, but the short answer is DON'T. Does her bestie even know that this is a thing? Because if she doesn't, your girlfriend is totes not doing her any favours. I mean, who wants to have someone fake-like you? If anything, and if the bestie does like that boy and you do feel inclined to help, why not do it the old fashioned way and just have a casual chat to him; put it casually out there and see if he might like her back? Or like, get a better girlfriend for yourSELF, that would work too. xoxo The Scarlet Queen Quote: My friend snuck his pet knarl into school. I think he's so cute and I don't want him to get in trouble, but we're not allowed to keep knarls. Knarl Snarl As Einstein (Albert if you are not sure to which Einstein I am referring) once said "we cannot solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them". You're worrying about the wrong problem here, see. The bigger problem is that you, anonymous or not, just told us that a friend of yours has an unsanctioned knarl at school...in a professor reviewed paper. Which means that now the faculty are going to know and be on the lookout for said knarl. The real problem you should have been considering was approaching this from another angle to secure the answer to your question. This was not so smart. You're welcome. Philosopher King Okay, but like, it isn't really your problem, right? Soooo, why not just enjoy the knarl's cuteness and say nothing? When your friend gets caught, if they are really your friend then they won't drag you down with them; just like how if you are really THEIR friend you won't tattle in the first place. Just be sure to dress appropriately when handling the little cutie because knarl quills can catch on fabric and ruin a perfectly good outfit. xoxo The Scarlet Queen Are you (like these unfortunate souls) down and out and looking for a little advice from our resident experts? Submit to us today and have your questions answered in next week's issue! Just remember that nothing is taboo in the name of philosophy and love!