So you're a teacher? Or are in the process of becoming one? Naturally, people will want to wish you luck, but luck is a fools game. No, I wish you all the best. I wish you confidence, common sense and perseverance, because without it, even this books can't help you survive.

The art of survival has nothing to do with chance. Everything you do, everything you say, will have an impact on your career. It can make your road as smooth as velvet or as rocky as the underworld. So when you turn each page of this virulent book, please don't think that I am in any way, shape or form responsible for you or even able to help you. I can only provide you with advice I have accumulated over my twenty-five years of teaching experience. Some of this advice I've acquired through ingenious studies of social behaviour, as well as by making my own errors. No, I'm not the perfect teacher, but here's the hot tip... there isn't one. Witches and Warlocks will no doubt tell you that they are the shining beacons of success, and they're probably right in saying so, but for every success, there is a failure and only trolls don't acknowledge and learn from their mistakes.

This survival guide will not tell you what you need to do. It will not tell you what weapons to acquire. What it will do, is give you an insight into how schools work and how the professional mind thinks. If you follow everything you read in this book, you will fail. Reading and following instructions is far too easy, and as an educated adult, I won't insult you by lowering my expectations of you. What you need to do with the information I provide you, is analyse it, observe your own surroundings and apply it to your scenario. I'm not a legilimens, nor am I a seer... I'm just a survivor, and this is what I have to show for it.