Chapter 11


My seventh year at Hogwarts was nothing more but a fast blur. It just happened so fast that it felt like I went to school in about 2 months. I don’t know why or how it was like that. Maybe this is how it felt like when you’re not simply enjoying yourself with anything. You’re not friends with anyone. You’re not in-touch in anything.

The fact that I only went back to school was to prove myself that I could be sober with all the drama that happened to me last term. Yes, that was nothing. Nothing at all. I can still be the bubbly Cho everyone knew. I could still be that awesome seeker at Quidditch. I could still b---

*sigh*
Who am I kidding?

After the events that happened to me last term, everything about me is completely different. It feels like my soul died together with Cedric. I was longer nothing. I was like a wall on every corner. People didn’t care much if they did bump into me. Yeah, I did cry over a couple of times on my own but what else can I do? I can’t cry forever. Sooner or later school will be over for me. Graduating and leaving this horrid place behind was a main goal. I have to act like I’m okay.

But then…

……………………Harry.

I’ve heard a lot about him over the term. How he completely became such a hero back at the Ministry and how he is officially the Chosen One. I saw Harry once and when I said ‘hi’ he just stared, maybe even looked away. Great. I was invisible the whole time. Maybe it’s time for me to just focus on something more important, like Potions and what not. It’s devastating how some people just hate you that way.

During the winter days, I usually go up to the Observatory for some peace and quiet. My thoughts just drift apart and without realizing it sometimes I tend to weep. I don’t know why but I’m not the kind of person that emotes in front of people. I like being aloof when I’m sad. Since the lake was badly frozen with snow, the observatory became a new hiding place for me.

But so was Dumbledore’s.
“Professor? I-I’m sorry. I didn’t…” yes, he caught me once crying alone. I know it’s very much embarrassing, not to mention humiliating for the headmaster to ask why I was crying in the first place.
“They don’t hate you. It’s just that they’re not yet ready to accept you back” he spoke. “You’re still young. If you can’t deal with those at this age then how much more when you become as old as I am?” he said while looking out into the sky.

For awhile I was just silent. Hearing his advice made me feel a little bit better about my problem. It’s nice to be able to talk to someone about this for once.

“To tell you the truth, I’m not as perfect as people think.” He spoke again. “Miss Chang, believe it or not but some things are meant to happen” he said while clasping both his hands and adding a wink. I didn’t know why Dumbledore just opened up something like that to me and I never knew he comes often in the Observatory. What does he do up there anyway?

Like I said in the beginning, my seventh year at Hogwarts was a fast blur. I can’t even remember half the things that happened to me. What I did know was that the Death Eaters, the so-called allies of Voldemort, gained entrance to Hogwarts because of Malfoy.

Typical isn’t it? Slytherins are always on track with evil. Malfoy was smart enough to lead them inside even though Dumbledore completely put a protective shield around Hogwarts. And the next thing I knew, Dumbledore died. Also, Snape has run off somewhere. They say he killed him.

It all happened when I was in my room and peacefully sleeping. I was too self-absorbed that I didn’t even care to come out when I heard something. Now guilt is paying me a visit. And the saddest part of all of this is that, not one of the Dumbledore’s Army tried to tell me about it. I get it they hate me but I thought that this was a boundary to that. I always thought Dumbledore is the boundary.

But I guess not…

I wanted to know what happened because last time I was with him, Dumbledore looked happy. No hints of being scared. At the funeral, I saw Harry a mile away. I ran to him as fast as I could.
“Harry” I said out loud as I got nearer to him. “Harry, I—“
“Not now, Cho” he spoke. His voice was very upset. He didn’t look at me like I wanted him to. The Harry I was with before is no longer there. His eyes full of angst, his breathing was in rage. If only there was something I could do to make him calm down.

I hugged him.
I closed my eyes and just wished he wouldn’t let go and be satisfied by my simple gesture. Harry did a lot for this school and he should be proud that Dumbledore didn’t die in vain. He never did. Dumbledore is one of the best wizards alive but he was just getting older. I’m sure Snape is probably guilty with what he had done.
“It’s going to be okay, Harry” I hugged him tightly and tapped his back for comfort. I shed a tear when I heard him sob. I know he wanted to act strong but this was an emotional moment, especially for him.

“Harry?” a voice from behind called his name. I let go of him and turned to face the person. It was Ginny and Hermione. “Come” Ginny gestured her hand over to Harry and Harry slowly walked towards her. As they both walked away hand in hand, my heart just felt uneasy. I never felt like this before especially not to Harry. I wiped the tears that fell on my cheeks only to realize that Hermione never left and was still standing there, looking at me in agony. She knew how I felt and she knew how Harry felt about me before. Before Ginny.
“C-cho” she started. Hermione always says the most helpful things. “I know this may sound random but congratulations” she said weakly. She didn’t look happy at all, well, in this situation no one really looked happy to be graduating. “I hope you would have a happy life after Hogwarts” she nodded and left. The words itself was just inspiring now that I am recalling it but the way she said it was more of an advice rather than an inspiring conversation.

Hogwarts.

A place full of memories may it be awesome or awful. It indeed taught me a lot of things. I went through a lot of obstacles and it didn’t matter because right now. I just felt free from everything and anything else. Graduating at Hogwarts was a wonderful moment but seeing as my friends and I were still not talking to each other, graduation day was rather sad. At least, my parents and I celebrated with some of my families.

Leaving for the last time, I gave myself a last tour of the whole castle. As I did, I couldn’t help but shed a tear. That’s it, I’m finally leaving this place. I’m finally leaving that I once called home. And before leaving this place I went up to the astronomy tower. Apparently as I grew, the more this area grew attach to me as well.

Going up the stairs and finally reaching the tower, the breeze just felt nice. So this is where Dumbledore died. I met him a few times here. On the corner of my eye, I saw Harry. Probably he didn’t see me come up. He was gazing at the lake. Maybe talking to him would be nice just like old times. Besides, this is goodbye for me.

I didn’t though. Not anymore.
Maybe next time when I see him somewhere around Diagon Alley. Who knows really?! So I decided to just leave him there still staring blankly into space. Not even knowing that I was up there in the first place.